Canto XIX

So if I wasn't trying to get to 100 (C) for my titles, I think the title for this one would be "The Great Equalizer". Which, in this case, is the bathroom at work. It's a decent bathroom, although only 1 soap dispenser works (out of 3). But it's great because I can pee standing next to Nobel Prize winners. Also, otherwise intimidating faculty member will come in and start to raise holy hell in one of the stalls. I mean, it was like one of those comedic scenes with gratuitous farting sounds and lots of splashing. He does drink a lot of coffee, so maybe this is par for the course for him, but after that incident, I've had a hard time not thinking about this whenever I see him. The reason why I'm writing this now, though, is that yesterday a certain faculty member was urinating hands free! I don't think I've gone hands free since second grade. There's always a concern that there could be some kind of backlash and suddenly you can't control where the flow is going. I respect and admire this man, but now suddenly everything is thrown into question. He does wash his hands, which is more than I can say for some people around here, but this is really screwing with me. Are there any other hands-free people in this world?